I thought that it would be easy to hear my heart on my sleeve and that would be that. ZH today was a whoosey. I mean I don't remember him from CJ not to mention I wasn't even in ODAC and he seems to know most of what is said in my fb profile, but he can't catch the conversation. He's a deadpan.

it seems so hard to meet someone nice. When I do I get scared that I will get rejected. And the last few times I risked it all it hurt so bad.

I declared with all honestly. I am furious with ariel, I have never been so in love with someone. He doesn't give a shit about me. I hate him. I took a chance, it didn't pay off. And as I think back to the past, everything has always been on his terms never mine.

I train kids to stand on equal ground in a relationship. to fend for themselves. Today I feel that I would like someone to hold my hand, rest my head on. I wish it were him. And I can't help but watch him slip away. It is times like this, I really feel like caving and just date J.

With Kenneth and Anhong attached, i think its going to be a lonely lonely next couple of months. I can't help but hate hate hate that I am alone.