i thought by now it would have worn off...
i miss him like fuck, its not like I want to get back together.. I don't
but god this sucks..

why doesnt it just go away..i cant seem to will it away...
maybe i just want to keep feeling hurt..
Hurt just seem to be an emotion that I habour in...

I dont think dating again is a solution to this.. I need to purge myself of this..
hate that I am needy and constantly imposing on him.. I dont want.. But I stupidly do anyway... fuck emotion!

it needs to go away!

today I went on a picnic! this birthday was the best birthday ever!I got everything I wanted... didnt quite come to me in a form I expected but God works in mysterious ways! :) feeling better already...