There were 7 of us who traveled back from Jakarta on Saturday evening.
And of those 7,
1 has got H1N1,
2 are suspected cases,
1 is on home quarantine.
1 has a fever..

That leave Dejun and I.

To say that this makes me a little anxious is an understatement. I had a mild fever yesterday but it has since subsided. I am avoiding contact with my family at all cost, wearing a face mask everywhere except my own room.

its just times like these that I wish that I had someone to talk to, I don't really know what to talk about, maybe distract me from the facts. I am not suppose to talk about this to people who are involved with the company. And they ARE ALL from the company. Right now, I feel really alone.

its 4 in the afternoon, but it feels like forever. I keep thinking that someone might come for me. And I should know better than keep wishing on moonbeams and broken dreams. I think I need to take a page from nick and norah, and be open to new suggestions. But what I want is right there, and I am too afraid.

its aint happening, it aint happening today. I'm cuddle up and sleep in and think of cotton candy and gummy bears. believe these 7 days is going to be a trial, and when I make it through, the answer is going to be clear to me.

today was one of those rare occasions that I decided to go to church. I guess its also because En has just finished her confirmation camp and I am there for "moral support"

It is really nice to be back in church. To feel so welcomed and serene when in prayer. I really do hope to go to church more.

So excited!!! I am going to Indonesia :) and there is a possibility that I might get to train!!!

Yesterday was the last day of my crazy work week. And after working so hard, at the end of the day I really didn't need much. Some good food, some good company. I didn't even need a thanks, although the thanks I got from Bala and the others are much appreciated.

Kenneth had come down specially to the office to help out. And as we were talking I laughed and momentarily let my guard down, and leaned into him. And for that second it felt really nice. I can't believe I'm saying this, and I know that he's not someone that I can tolerate. But its times like these I ask myself why am I so guarded.

On the otherhand, M was in the office 2 days ago. Working late for Kat packing boxes for the trip as he did he flirted with his friend. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous.. don't know why but I did.

The thing is, if I really wanted to, which I don't, I could have dated him. Yet I choose not to, and stupid me still feels jealous.. What's up!

That is totally my fault.


I know that the right person will come by, sometimes it sucks waiting. And I know people like Kenneth, if I ever dated him, would be outta convenience. Maybe that's how it begins..? I question myself from time to time, that my standards are set too high. I really don't need mr. Right. I need a mr. right now.

The more I watch the drama, the more I am sucked into their reality. But in all that chaos, I realise now that I'm not to look for someone to live with. Instead someone that I can't live without.

I really dont care if its gonna take a long time, and in between I date people just for fun. But what matters most, is that when I do meet that person, I should never hold back, don't think twice. Instead live in the moment, cherish everyday. Because not everyone is destined to experience love like that. And if that were lucky enough to happen to me, I'll be over the moon.

But I know that in the mean time, I will make everything work. And if it gets tough, enjoy it too.

The place here in KL is great, and living in this apartment has been da bomb! I want an apartment of my own too :) Maybe tonight I'll hit the bar..