lionel.. I guess he means well. I did enjoy myself though. Thanks for calling me out for supper. Honestly, Lionel is one of those people that I can say how I feel and he'll give me his unfiltered 2-cents. And this is true about dating stuff too.. I shan't admit to him, but he's good when you need advice.

Bless that boy, he said " Oh by the way, I invited a friend. He's no Andrew, but he's single."

We all did however, talked until until all the shops closed. I won't pass judgement yet..

I can't remember a time that I had such a relaxed afternoon. I enjoyed myself. And for a while I thought to myself, maybe. But you have to know when to give it up. As much as you want it, sometimes your time is up.

I know that he's gonna make some girl really happy. And as much as that could be a nice thought for myself, I am really in no place to reach out to him.

Sometimes I lament like andrew that there aren't people who are datable within my circle. That is a fact. And I don't really think I ask for too much. Maybe I need to be more forward. Maybe I need to do something different. But what?

All I know is that I'm lonely and people I date, mostly annoy me.

in water's placid, icy
a reflection of erie calm
a moment of serenity
the lack of qualm
it sighs loneliness
like the breath of dawn
a mist due to linger
on the lip of Delilah
a hint of passionless humming
ripples through the silence
knawing at the baby's breath
till it shrivels and shred

is life an open book
on the sea of consciousness
a wake of loneliness
punishment dished
serve it dutifully
pay those dues
and in the contrast
earn your reward of
happiness folded

I see the world half empty
not full and I can't imagine
the anger that torments
daily, each minute
the moments that make up a day
I see myself happy
following my gut
but when I hit the rocks
alll I want to do is run
harder and faster to you
it can't be that time has altered
yet not the ties
and though I know you feel nothing
in that nothing I pine
I know.. ain't I loser
all I want
what little I want is to
have I more pass
and yet I dare not
fearing more than anything
the answer no

i dreamt in vivid technicolour
that we sat in our corner
not a care in the world
knees curled to my chest
as i held onto you
and as I listened silently
the worlg going by
I curled in to lean in
and he in turn

that were two stark emotions that I felt as the night wore on
anger at disregard
and satisfaction from plesantry

kenneth is too close and I dont know how to say get lost without hurting our friendship
May the friendship is worth straining
after all when he talks to me,
I feel that my IQ drops by a couple of percentage points
I hate HATE the way he holds the small of my back
as if I couldn't walk on my own
and despise when he "baby talks" and tries to win me over by acting cute
puke!!

he followed me to SOHO, then power house
dressed like a school boy, wait, he is one

----

I never noticed
the way you walk, I never noticed
and as we walk and spoked, i didn't notice
but was I laughing
and in the midst of partying
we heading off together
drinks and merriment
was the aim
and on the walk back
to join the throng
I briefly, just barely
held on to you
and I held my breath