when I think that I've simplified my life, humility throws me a curve ball
sometime I think i idle and other time I idolise
either way I guess its not about looking for perfection
its about looking for companionship
I am afraid, deadly afraid
and I know that many are going to frown in dismay
but I guess, when you've been lonely for so long
settling becomes an option


falling in love, is no longer something you hope would happen to you
but a choice
I have always been to afraid to pseak up when I'm interested
continue to doubt the validity
leave a trail of destruction
and fistful of regret

no more of that yea

baby steps, there's no need to jump the gun
maybe sometimes he's a little dense
but I guess I didn't communicate my intention
n men will always think with their pants first
so I shouldn't be offended by remarks like that

shing would be really disappointed in my pick

and truthfully, I do not blame her
she know's the me more than I dare admit

its amazing how we've not spoken

except for that 1 time of course

finally got to hear Sara and Alvin sing on Power 98
and it was the best thing ever

haiz

emo....

kenneth called me out yesterday. But I couldn't help but feel like I was used. He said "let's meet, I need some intellectual conversation." Is that all I am used for. Is my value as a friend to fill some missing need in your life. And the only reason that you call me out is so as to fulfill that need?

I guess, at its very essence, that is really what a friendship or any relationship for that matter is all about. For some reason meeting up with kenneth really sickened me. Maybe it was the conversation about his trip to Geylang with his buddies(despite having not partake in the lewd activities) or the fact that I had to force myself to squeeze any semblence of a intellectual conversation from the late night meet.

Meeting ber or danny it never feels that way. Or anyone for that matter. Only kenneth. Oh well...