for the first time in my life
i am living presently and putting my emotions aside

for this first time
I am living skin on skin
loving each moment
and there is no more urge to win

how could I let this life slip away
I guess I never realised that this was all I wanted
its gone and I'm here, left behind


and in this time in my life
i catch myself in a fix, I hold my breath and fist
wish for baby
but he left to leave this
so I shall never speak of it.

till I get myself fixed
I'll keep standing here presently.

I want to run
run into your arms
cozy up to you
and stare at you under the covers

I quietly lie
lie awake at night
hoping that you will see me
the way I see you

I know I promised
to not make a sound
to leave without a banter
to hold but not belong

for until I can keep my pleading in stride
I will hold my breath around you
wish that the nights never end
while you hold on to someone else

live in the now dear girl,
stop your lips from quivering
stuck it up and put yourself back together
you dont need this right now
you promised you'll stay strong
you have to stick to that

It is gone.. ALL gone
so stop brooding, no one will ever look at you
that way, you can keep dreaming about it
I know you dont just want anyone,
but keep quiet like you always do...
don't you make a sound
i doubt he would appreciate any forwardness from you
although i know that is all you can think about.

like when Henry in his loneliness wills himself to Clare,
you can keep willing but do nothing

he has come and gone, and he and you had your time
move the bloody hell on would you

the funny thing is I have moved on.