I dont need anyone, it would be nice to have someone that I can rely on. I've never had that before. And maybe, eventually love.

Honestly, it hurts more now than it has ever. And I am only watching from the sidelines. All I wish is to see him, hold him. Hug him and never let go. But I get the feeling that its the end. Its barely even started. It feels so awful and not because I have so much work to do, All I really want to do is just die.

I'm just glad that I still can feel and I know that it will soon pass and the easy way is to numb it by loving someone. I deserve someone who will love me. Not just anyone and I hope he sees me for me, not for what he wants me to be. I can't help but be jealous of the people around me. And I can't help the voice in my head from saying, you brought this upon yourself.

It has been a long time coming to get over andrew and I very glad for that. I know not to make the same mistake and not let fear be a reason to run. That there is nothing wrong with not seeing eye to eye and there is truly nothing greater than love.