I don't miss him? or do I?
when you miss someone it hurts a little, your heart pulls at you a little.
I don't have that when I see his picture...??

i do look forward to calling him, hearing about his day

I now wish to care for him, more so than I did before..
Stupid huh?! it's too late!!!

well I am really happy that we are still friends...
reading his last post, I cant help but feel a lump in my throat..
I am glad that he's happy..


I have to learn to stop wanting the things I cannot have, keep the things I have and accept each day and make it my own... Because I keep looking toward the future and my past. I now choose to be satisfied with me.. Like I am now...

I'm willing to live this life
it allows me this same tune
to walk the same pavements
that grace the shadow of you

Its easy to take for granted
the simple comings and goings,
but now that they are gone I'm left all alone

you make the difference
between the smiles and painted faces
the only one that stood the test of time
but then in a flurry
I went and pushed it all away
now living with regrets of yesterday

there is a lot of nothing going on
strangely I'm not crying though I might be dying
utttering no eludes me
as each perfect moment slips by
deeper I sink into oblivion of someone else's dream
how can I not be part a productive part of that plan
I will do no part in destroying

i can't think which is better?

I feel so empty, yet I know that andrew is not the solution. I want to move forward but Cass is there to block/catch/protect me
but do I really want that?
I can't tell anymore
my head is so screwed up
screwed up it hurts

whatever happens, I love you inspite of....

i'm sorry.